The Longest Running Joke in the World

The Longest Running Joke in the World
Chen Shui-bian's Reign of Ineptitude
Bevin Chu
May 23, 2005

According to a May 22, 2005 Taipei Times news report entitled "Chan's Taiwan remarks hurt people's feelings,"

Government Information Office (GIO) Minister Pasuya Yao said yesterday that Hong Kong-born movie star Jackie Chan is pleasing Beijing by hurting the feelings of the Taiwanese people. "It is his [Chan's] free choice whether or not he wants to come to Taiwan in the future. But when he says bad things about Taiwan, he is pleasing the Chinese government and hurting the feelings of his Taiwanese fans," Yao said. The GIO minister's remarks were in response to Chan's comments last Tuesday. When asked by reporters, Chan said that for the next four years, he will not step foot in Taiwan to avoid being attacked at the airport -- an implicit reference to the clashes that took place when Chinese Nationalist Party Chairman (KMT) Lien Chan left on his trip to China last month. Chan has not come to Taiwan since he said "Taiwan is a big joke" while referring to the assassination attempt on President Chen Shui-bian and Vice President Annette Lu last year. Yao also said that when the KMT was in power, Chan made several TV and movie commercials in Taiwan. The minister said that the world-famous action movie star has every right to express his anger or disappointment toward any individual. However, his public comments are an insult to the Taiwanese people.

How can one keep from laughing?

Jackie Chan never "said bad things about Taiwan." Jackie Chan said bad things about Chen Shui-bian.

What Jackie Chan, a Hong Kong and Hollywood hyphenate of global renown said, was that Chen Shui-bian's artificially staged, laughably amateurish, patently phony, Wag the Dog "assassination attempt" of March 19, 2004, was "the biggest joke in the world." Which of course it was.

The editors of the Taipei Times knew that of course. GIO Minister Yao, the same official they quoted in their own editorial, made that perfectly clear. According to a May 21, 2005 GIO press release Yao said:

"Chan, an international martial arts film star with a great number of fans in Taiwan, referred to the election as a joke at a news conference in Shanghai, China last year, leading to calls from some Taiwan politicians to ban his movies on the island."

There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Chan did not say "Taiwan was a big joke." Chan said the election was a big joke.

Am I merely picking at nits? Am I merely "looking for bones in eggs," as the Chinese expression puts it?

Hardly. These cheap tricks, these smarmy little distortions of the truth, unworthy of any intellectual with any respect for the value of ideas, are typical of the Taipei Times.

The Taipei Times, as I have noted ad nauseum, is not a newspaper. The Taipei Times is the quasi-official publication of the Taiwan independence movement, English Language Edition. The mission of the Taipei Times is not to report the news. It is to legitimize and "mainstream" Taiwan independence dogma in the minds of English-speaking expats living on Taiwan. Taipei Times news reports aren't news reports, they're Taiwan independence agit-prop for "lao wai." And as the above "news report" should make abundantly clear, appallingly heavy-handed agit-prop. The Taipei Times is even worse than the GIO, the official propaganda arm of the Taiwan independence movement.

Why did the Taipei Times tell what it knew to be a bare-faced lie?

The Taipei Times deliberately and maliciously lied about what Jackie Chan said in order to discredit the immensely popular international star and provoke a "Taiwanese" backlash against performing artists defined as "Chinese," i.e., "the enemy."

Not that the GIO is much better. GIO Minister Yao distorted the truth as well:

"But when he says bad things about Taiwan, he is pleasing the Chinese government and hurting the feelings of his Taiwanese fans... Chan is free to speak publicly about his discontent with certain figures in Taiwan but that he shouldn't hurt the Taiwan people's feelings."

Note Yao's wording: "the Taiwan people's feelings." This is probably the Taiwan independence Quislings' most infuriating habit -- equating their 15 to 20% hardcore Taiwan independence zealots with "the Taiwan people."

Come to Taipei. Talk to the Taiwan people protesting Chen's election fraud, ballot theft, and illegal rule in front of the Presidential Palace every evening for the past 365 days. Ask these members of the 53% majority of Taiwan people who voted for Lien Chan whether Jackie Chan "hurt their feelings."

As a May 22, 2005 China Post article entitled "Jackie Chan to shun Taiwan and protests for four years" correctly notes:

"The Hong Kong-born entertainer is actually a "son of Taiwan," since he is married to a former Taiwanese actress. Chan is hugely popular in Taiwan... [He] has visited Taiwan frequently. He has appeared in commercials on behalf of the police and an anti-smoking charity... He was retained by the United Nations to encourage people to stay away from illicit drugs. He was visiting the Cannes Film Festival to promote "The Myth," a new adventure movie... [the] Government Information Office will host a lavish reception in Cannes today for entertainers, directors, and film producers from around the world. But Chan will be conspicuously absent from the gathering because he was not invited by the government agency... "


Jackie Chan, promoting his movie "The Myth"

Jackie Chan has not hurt "the Taiwan people's feelings." Quite the contrary, he has been a much appreciated spokesman for the Taiwan people's feelings of betrayal by an ostensibly reformist political party that has long spun itself to the Taiwan public and the international community as "democratic" and "progressive." What Chan did was to do precisely what Yao said Chan was free to do, "speak publicly about his discontent with certain figures in Taiwan."

Pan Green demagogues never pass up an opportunity to vilify Beijing for imposing sanctions against performing artists from Taiwan who violate mainland Chinese tenets of Political Correctness. But how did they behave when a performing artist from Hong Kong violates Taiwan independence Political Correctness?

They demand official bans on his movies and boycotts of his his public appearances. To paraphrase Yao, "They hurt Chan's feelings."

"I love Taiwan so much. I'm a person who likes Taiwan so much. I have done so many things in Taiwan, but then I get this result."

Jackie Chan was right. The 319 Shooting Incident was the biggest joke in the world. One year later Chan might well add that Chen Shui-bian's grossly incompetent, flagrantly illegal regime is also the longest running joke in the world.